


forgive me

by kyaappucino



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, M/M, Soulmate AU, ball of sad, blame Hands of Farewell lol, inevitable heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 14:04:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6613495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyaappucino/pseuds/kyaappucino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“One day,” Hakyeon whispers as he hugs Taekwoon tightly, “you’ll wake up at 11:30am on a Sunday with the love of your life. You’ll make coffee and pancakes, and everything will be all right.” and he wanted that--with Hakyeon. But it wasn't meant to be. Not when the name on their left wrists says otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	forgive me

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t have anything to say other than “not all soulmate aus are happy.” fortunately “Hands of Farewell” fits this fic. Just wanted to explore outside the happiness of finding your soulmate dynamic for a little while.

“One day,” Hakyeon whispers as he hugs Taekwoon tightly, “you’ll wake up at 11:30am on a Sunday with the love of your life. You’ll make coffee and pancakes, and everything will be all right.”

What he doesn’t know is that Taekwoon wants those things, yes. He wants it to be with Hakyeon.

But his soul-mate is written on his left wrist, and the name isn’t Hakyeon’s. Taekwoon sighs. His heart is in love with his best friend, but fate says it just isn’t meant to be.

So he keeps silent, because if this is all he can have with Hakyeon, he’s going to milk it for all its worth. 

He allows Hakyeon to cup his dark hands around his pale cheeks, lets him wipe away his tears with delicate, strong thumbs. The unfairness of it all is heavy, and Taekwoon nods.

“Someday.” Taekwoon hopes that whoever Kim Wonshik is can understand if he’s still hung up over Hakyeon. That was the thing with soulmates–you could always count on them to understand, couldn’t you?

Hakyeon looks at Taekwoon with a soft smile, and somehow it just deepens the cracks in Taekwoon’s heart. Hakyeon’s thumbs keep wiping away the tears, and Taekwoon balls his hands into fists, trying so hard not to nuzzle into those warm palms.

“Woonie-ah.” That voice calls out to him, soft and extremely sorry. He knows what he has to reply, and Taekwoon prays that his voice doesn’t break. “Yeonnie-ah.” they stare into each other’s eyes, before Hakyeon crosses the threshold and kisses Taekwoon, drinking in the love in between the seam of Taekwoon’s lips. 

Taekwoon’s hands automatically reach down and wrap around Hakyeon’s waist, Hakyeon’s hands looping around Taekwoon’s neck. They kiss slowly, intimately–taking their time. When Hakyeon’s tongue reaches in and glides against Taekwoon’s, he’s surprised to taste salt, and breaks the kiss. He sees the tear tracks along Hakyeon’s tanned cheeks.

Hakyeon was also crying. Overcome with emotion, Taekwoon crushes their lips together, faster this time, hot and wet and needy. When Hakyeon moans into their kiss, Taekwoon steals it for himself, locking each breathy gasp and whimper inside of himself. 

If they weren’t meant to be together, why did it feel so _right_?

♡

They’ve been friends with benefits for three months when Hakyeon comes home one day, his face schooled into a neutral expression as he tells Taekwoon, “I found Jaehwan. He’s Hongbin’s friend, from the firm.” The younger man’s eyes flutter, surprised. He knew this day would come, just…not so soon.

“Mm.” The younger man hums, and walks into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. His back presses against the marble counter-top and he lifts the cup to his lips, breathing in the bitter, dark brew. When he puts the cup down, there’s Hakyeon, looking ethereal in his white button-down. 

“Did you find Wonshik?” Taekwoon shook his head. He didn’t feel the need to look for someone who was made for him–he just wanted to keep track of the precious seconds that he still had with Hakyeon. 

They’ve talked about it, what would happen if they found their other halves. 

“We’ll have to move out,” Taekwoon says softly as they curl up together in bed, Hakyeon’s hair disheveled and the top buttons of his button-down undone. Taekwoon’s sweater is large and loose, exposing one of his milky white shoulders, peppered with dark red marks from Hakyeon’s lips.

“Yeah.” Hakyeon breathes, pressing his body closer to Taekwoon’s. “No visits for awhile.”

Awhile, they both knew, meant for as long as they were in love with each other.

♡

“Does it hurt?” Taekwoon asks one day, as Hakyeon comes back home with dinner. He’d removed his jacket to unpack the groceries and Taekwoon sees the name on Hakyeon’s left wrist, the N from his soulmate’s first name and the E from his last name decorated with chains. Lee Jaehwan. It’s akin to a wedding band, almost, when one meets their soul mate.

It’s a guarantee that when they meet them, they can’t be torn apart.

“When we met…it burned. It hurt. But the pain’s only momentary. Like getting your ear pierced.” Taekwoon smiles at the memory, of how he and Hakyeon had celebrated six months of fooling around by getting their ears pierced–Hakyeon for the first time and Taekwoon for the second. Taekwoon only remembered the pain of the second piercing when Hakyeon’s tongue ran over it, teeth gently pulling at the earring. It had been quick and intimate, the heat between them like nothing else he’d ever felt before.

The sooner they know it’s going to be over, the more each moment intensifies.

They’ve never placed a label on it, because in the end, it doesn’t matter. They couldn’t be together anyway.

Not when the pulsing tattooed name on their left wrists says differently.

♡

Taekwoon bumps into Wonshik at the grocery store, where he’s buying egg bread for himself and Hakyeon. When their eyes meet, there’s a soft kind of understanding between them. 

“Hi.” Wonshik says, and Taekwoon nods. “Hi.” There’s no need to check the inside of their left wrists–they both feel the brand, and it burns for a moment. Without looking, Taekwoon knows that the chains are there.

Fate let them meet, and now fate wouldn’t let them separate. 

He finds out that Wonshik is an artist, writes music for a living. Taekwoon’s a schoolteacher, and they’ve passed by each other for years without knowing it. The music studio that Wonshik works at is right across the kindergarten. 

They exchange numbers, agree to meet again another day. Kim Wonshik, Taekwoon thinks, has a really nice smile. He also has a stunning pair of eyes, expertly lined with black eyeliner. The younger boy had dyed white hair and ink below his collarbone, but still seemed soft, somehow. It was a refreshing combination.

Taekwoon walks home, carrying the paper bag of egg bread and the thought of Wonshik fades away when he unlocks the door and sees Hakyeon’s sneakers, placed neatly by the door. The smile returns to his face and he gently removes his shoes, placing them neatly next to Hakyeon's.  

When he gets to the living room of their shared apartment, Hakyeon is there, brow furrowed in concentration, reading something from his iPad. He’s wearing one of Taekwoon’s black sweaters–a thin one–and underneath that he can see, teasingly, the outline of a black tank top.

It takes his breath away like nothing else, seeing Hakyeon on the couch. He looks up and sees Taekwoon, and a smile creeps onto his face as he puts the tablet down. 

Taekwoon leaves the paper bag on the table and falls into Hakyeon’s arms, warm and soft and welcoming.

Softer than Wonshik could ever be.

♡

“You found him?” Hakyeon asks, as Taekwoon crawls in between Hakyeon’s legs, embracing the elder’s waist. Hakyeon sees the chains on Taekwoon’s left wrist and presses his lips to them, and the feeling is hot. 

Much too hot.

“Yeah. He…seemed nice. He’s an artist…makes music. He works across the kindergar–” his explanation is cut off when he lets out a breathy moan, looking down as Hakyeon tongues at the name on Taekwoon’s wrist. That’s all it takes before Hakyeon looks up at Taekwoon, littering his jaw with open-mouthed kisses.

Before he knows it, they’ve ended up in their bedroom, kissing like they’re never going to see each other again.

“Ta-Taekwoon…” Hakyeon is gorgeous like this, Taekwoon thinks, on his back with his legs spread wide, thighs slick with lube and trembling, waiting for Taekwoon’s fingers, his cock. “please…”

Taekwoon slicks up his fingers, mouth going dry at the sight of Hakyeon’s cock, flushed hard and leaking. He listens to each of Hakyeon’s little noises of pleasure as his long finger pushes past the first ring of muscles. “More…” Hakyeon murmurs, and Taekwoon has always found it difficult to refuse Hakyeon anything.

It’s how they even got this far, after all.

♡

If Taekwoon had a choice, if he wasn’t in love with Hakyeon, he would have run away the first chance he got–on that soft Friday when his face was in Hakyeon’s hands, and Hakyeon had promised that Taekwoon would get pancakes and coffee on a Sunday with the love of his life.

Only the love of his life, Taekwoon is sure, is here, right now, moaning out for him like he could never get enough. Taekwoon inserts one more finger, exploring Hakyeon gently, teasing him open. There’s a gasp from Hakyeon’s lips and Taekwoon leans forward, kissing him hungrily. 

He’s burning hot, and so tight.

A whine passes through Hakyeon’s lips before Taekwoon slides three fingers inside of him, until he’s shaking. Their kisses turn sloppy and Hakyeon rolls his hips eagerly, rocking against the outline of Taekwoon’s cock. Their kiss is broken and Hakyeon nearly screams out loud when Taekwoon’s fingers reach that spot inside of him, full of sensitive nerves. His moaning grows ragged and Taekwoon’s boxers are wet with precome.

“ _Fuck_ , Yeonnie,” Taekwoon breathes as Hakyeon reaches in and strokes Taekwoon, the younger straining not to come. “Yes Woonie-ah…please…” Hakyeon whispers as he pulls down Taekwoon’s boxers and lies back on the pillows, watching him from long, dark eyelashes.

Taekwoon suppresses a moan without much success–Hakyeon just knows how to make Taekwoon go crazy. He reaches into the drawer and pulls out a condom packet, tearing into it and slicking up his cock with lube. Hakyeon braces himself, hands finding purchase on the white sheets as Taekwoon gently pushes in, resisting the urge to thrust up into the tight heat. 

Hakyeon groans as he feels Taekwoon bottom out and he stays still, feeling the gentle throbbing of Taekwoon’s dick inside of Hakyeon–waiting for Hakyeon to get used to it. “Move,” Hakyeon whispers, impatient, rolling his hips experimentally.

“Forgive me,” Taekwoon whispers in reply as he starts to thrust in Hakyeon’s tight, wet heat. Hakyeon groans and hooks his legs around Taekwoon’s waist, pulling their bodies so close that they can feel each other’s heartbeat, thumping in unison. Hakyeon’s hands move from the bedsheets and onto Taekwoon’s back, leaving crescent-shaped marks from his fingernails, begging to be fucked harder.

“Taekwoon, please–please, so I can feel it, make it hurt, fuck into me like you mean it.” Taekwoon doesn’t think he can last any longer and whispers into Hakyeon’s ear, punctuating each word with a long, hard thrust.

“I. Love. You.” 

Hakyeon’s crying, answering each one of Taekwoon’s thrusts with his own, breathing out pleasure and soaking in everything that Taekwoon has to give. His ass clenches around Taekwoon’s cock like a vice and he keens as Taekwoon starts to stroke Hakyeon’s cock in time with his thrusts.

Hakyeon swears he sees white as he comes first, hard, coating Taekwoon’s fingers, their stomachs and the bed with come. His entire body breaks apart, biting onto Taekwoon’s neck to muffle his ragged cries as he rides out his orgasm. Taekwoon fucks him through his orgasm until Hakyeon cries, overstimulated and far too deep in love.

Taekwoon swipes some of Hakyeon’s come on their stomachs and licks it, the taste of Hakyeon more sweet than bitter. He carefully pulls out of Hakyeon, and lies back on the bed beside him.

Hakyeon gently reaches out for Taekwoon’s cock, pulls out the condom and throws it in the trashcan and with a quiet mewl, he settles himself between Taekwoon’s legs. Taekwoon sees Hakyeon’s tongue eagerly moistening his lips and shudders.

Hakyeon locks eyes with Taekwoon for a moment, and Hakyeon murmurs, “I love you too.” it makes Taekwoon shudder as he feels the hot, wet heat of Hakyeon’s mouth envelop his cock, tongue curling on the underside and when Taekwoon feels Hakyeon take him in all the way to the base, suckling sweetly, he moans out loud. “ _Fuck_ , Hakyeon!”

Taekwoon comes when Hakyeon hums around him, shuddering as he fills Hakyeon’s throat, feels the way Hakyeon milks his cock of every single drop. He pulls out with an audible, dirty popping noise and smiles at Taekwoon sheepishly. 

Using the last of his strength, Taekwoon opens his arms and Hakyeon collapses beside Taekwoon, delirious with exhaustion and pleasure.

“We’re so fucked.” 

Taekwoon laughs, breathless and sweaty. “We just did, but yeah…we are. I love you, Yeonnie. A lot. Too much.” 

“I love you too,” Hakyeon says as they lace their fingers together. “soulmate or not.”

♡

Since Taekwoon’s soulmate is closer, he gets to stay in their apartment. Wonshik’s going to move in with him in a few days.

It’s not fair, Taekwoon thinks as he helps Hakyeon pack his things. Hakyeon needs to move to the next town to be with Jaehwan, leaving Taekwoon with an apartment full of memories and love. 

They don’t talk, and don’t look at each other until the last box has been taped up. 

Hakyeon reaches out for Taekwoon, and presses a soft kiss onto his forehead. “Call me when you want to visit, okay?” 

Taekwoon nods, and they know that it’ll never happen–but they pretend anyway. 

As Hakyeon wraps his arms around Taekwoon one last time, he wonders if Jaehwan will ever memorize the planes of Hakyeon’s arms, his abs, his back. Taekwoon wonders if Jaehwan will know that Hakyeon is most comforted when there are gentle hands stroking his back.

In the same way, Hakyeon holds Taekwoon tight and wonders if Wonshik will understand that Taekwoon needs time to get used to new things, new people.

They say your soul mate is the person who’s made just for you, who compliments you perfectly.

So if they aren’t soul mates, why do they curve into each other, love each other with such abandon that it doesn’t even seem real?

The last time Hakyeon and Taekwoon lace their fingers together, they say together, “I’m sorry.”

“I love you.”

“Stay safe.”


End file.
